Keeping It Real: This statement is coming from a BLACK MAN....
Bottom line--if I sleep with a woman I don't know or care about, SEX is
NOT going to make me care. (I stopped doing that years ago) That kind of sex
is like scratching an itch. Once a man scratches, he's through. He ain't
sitting around thinking about that spot that itched or how good it felt
scratching it. He's moving on with his life until that spot itches again and
it don't matter which hand he scratches it with, just as long as he gets rid
of the itch.
Too many women PRETEND they can handle a sexual fling, but wind up
getting caught up and wanting us to romance and wine and dine them and
pretend we're having a "relationship" when it's NOTHING but a booty call.
Come on, ladies, y'all know I'm telling the truth.
Unfortunately, ladies, you are part of our problem. You sleep with us
BEFORE you know us or what we're about. Having sex with a man does not
automatically make that a "relationship". Many women will deny they think
like this but I'm speaking from personal experience. Also, ladies know when
their men are fooling around and still turn a blind eye by getting mad at
the other woman. Now, what kind of sense does that make? Why should that
woman make YOU (a total stranger) a priority in her life? IF HE DID NOT
MARRY YOU, HE IS STILL SINGLE. The "other woman" is not breaking up a "happy
home".
Many women marry men who were cheating BEFORE they walked down the aisle
and then are SHOCKED that a fancy wedding dress or an expensive walk down
the aisle didn't change who he was. Why should he change? YOU let him know
it was acceptable by sticking around that long.
Ladies, start living with your eyes OPEN. Most shady men give themselves
away one way or another, usually before the first 30 days. Women have to
stop "rewarding" unfaithful men by pretending it ain't happening. All Men do
not cheat. I do not cheat on my lady so don't buy the hype. I know SOME MEN
who don't cheat but at the same time there are many other men who WILL if
there are NO real penalties for it.
Stop jumping into bed with brothers YOU DON'T KNOW. That means fewer
opportunities for men to cheat. Women have to STOP being so afraid to ask
the important questions that would reveal his TRUE lifestyle. Worry LESS
about what kind of job he has and what kind of car he drives and encourage
him to talk about his past, particularly his past with women. OPEN those
ears and listen.
Does he put down his ex-women and blame them for everything? And don't be
so vain. You are NOT a better woman than his last girlfriend. If he dogged
her out, you will probably be NEXT.
Observe him when you are with him. Do you have his home number? Work
number? Have you seen where he lives? Where he works? Is he secretive? Did
you ask if he's married or engaged? How does he treat other people? Listen
to what he says, NOT what you want to hear. Stop INTERPRETING the meaning of
what he says to fit your purposes.
If he says, "I'm not lookin' for nothing right now" -- DON'T tell
yourself, "Aw, he just scared of getting hurt. I can change his mind.." NO
YOU CAN'T. He said exactly what the hell he meant. Black Men don't have to lie when
so many black men are already DEAF.
If you can't answer BASIC questions about a man DON'T OPEN YOUR LEGS. I
could kinda understand back in the days when sex wouldn't KILL people, but
NOW? There's no excuse and if a black man takes that huge risk of sleeping with a
STRANGER then she better protect herself -- sexually AND emotionally.
Show our ASS to the door if we pressure you for sex too soon. Don't be
afraid to be alone. After you give our ASS some you will probably be alone
anyway but now you feel like a fool.
In other words, take your time and check us out. if we REALLY like you,
we'll stick around. BUT if you decided to sleep with a man you hardly know,
PROTECT yourself and keep your expectations to ZERO. We do not owe you a
relationship or another date just because you had sex with us. That's not
how it works, baby.
I have TOO many female friends who give me horror stories that could have
been avoided if they'd done their homework first OR moved SLOWER before
giving up the panties.
I try as a Black Male to give them the best advice I can but that won't
mean a doggone thing if Women in General continue to live in a dream world.
You are TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE for your own sexual behavior the same as I am.
Blaming the man won't change a damn thing. Black women have to look in the mirror and
take SOME of the blame for what's wrong with black man/black woman relationships.
Let me end
by saying:
SEX DOES NOT = A RELATIONSHIP. *boom*
GIVING A MAN A READY-MADE FAMILY WILL NOT MAKE HIM COMMIT IF HE DOESN'T
WANT TO. *pow*
A MAN WILL NOT RESPECT A WOMAN WHO DOES NOT RESPECT HERSELF OR HER
BODY. *bam*
IF YOU TRADE SEX FOR MATERIAL THINGS YOU ARE PROSTITUTING YOURSELF. * Ya heard me*
IF
HE DOESN'T TAKE CARE OF HIS OTHER CHILDREN WHY WOULD YOU HAVE A BABY WITH
HIM? OK!!!
IF YOU REWARD A DOG WHY SHOULD MEN STOP BEING DOGS? OK!!
BRING MORE TO THE
TABLE THAN YOUR BODY.
NO, YOUR COOCHIE IS NOT MADE OF GOLD. IT IS ONLY AS GOOD
AS I THINK IT IS. BELIEVE THAT. Ya Dig?...
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